Sunday Sundaes

Ever feel like you say "No!" to your children too often?
With a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old in my home its the word I tend to use most often.  I am finding that, now that I'm to 3 kids, I really really really need to take this whole parenting job seriously. Not that I didn't feel that way before, but maybe now that I'm starting to see the effects of my parenting I realize just how much influence I have over my kids.

Like.

Hearing Isaiah yell, "DUDE!" when I have to slam on the breaks because he's heard me yell at other drivers before.

or, for proof I'm not the Queen of mean

Isaac saying, "What a cute little sister! Mama look at how cute she is!" And him repeating me and saying it with the exact tone and emphasis I put on certain words.

It's SUCH a big job. And though I have my worries that they may make mistakes and decisions that will irreparably change their lives for the worse, in all I am confident and hopeful about the men and woman they will become one day. HOPEFULLY God-fearing, humble, joyful, capable servant-leaders who shine bright for the God who died for them and love Him. Willing to give all for Him, even if He asks them to shine for Him in very dark dark places. People who love their spouses and their children and sing the praises of Jesus until they are old and gray.

But oh! How to get them there!?!

Sometimes I've said "no" way too much. And much of the time I'm "saying" it at a decibel my neighbors can hear.  I think tattooing it on my forehead and teaching them to read it might save me some time and some breath some days, or at least they could read it while Immanuelle was napping so I wouldn't have to yell it and wake her up. I could just point to it real forceful like.

And then I'm reminded of Whose child I am.

Not Bruce and Janice's (though they ARE fantastic and DID introduce me to the One who keeps an eye on me when I am so so so far away from them)

But my eternal Father.

The One who graciously allowed me to become a parent.

Not as a big fat joke to try and test my patience every hour my children aren't asleep. No, in His loving plan for my life He made me the Mama to Isaac, Isaiah, and Immanuelle. And since the first day of becoming a Mama I realized how deep the Father's love for me is. I'm never hitting the bottom of it and I'll never understand, this side of heaven, how in the world He loves me enough to keep me alive. Not to just zap me for all my sinfulness and ugly and anger and attitude and bad decision and disobedience... and not ONLY to not zap me to a Looney Tunes pile of ashes, but then on top of that to LOVE me enough to orchestrate all of creation and time and history so that He could send His Son to come and DIE for me, so I could know Him and give Him the glory He so richly deserves.

That thought. That knowledge. That love. That's what keeps me from throwing in the towel (or just throwing things in general) most days. It's what pushes me, ever so gently and firmly toward being a better mother.

Because lemme tell ya. When that 2 year old pitches a fit over not wanting to put his cup in the sink after he's done with it and screams and cries bloody murder... where's a zapper when you need one!?

Scenes like that are too frequent. And if my heavenly Father would interject here, He could tell y'all about a few humdingers of stubborness I've thrown His way. And then, so completely unbelievable, He'd then tell y'all about how firm, kind and GRACIOUS He was as I acted like a pouting, fussing, disobedient 2 year old.

That sweet sweet grace. My. Oh my. When I know how much I deserve in the face of a Holy Pure and Perfect God. His wrath. His unending wrath because of my sinfulness. And THEN!? To get to be His child? Wow. Grace is even that much sweeter.

So when my children act like me I am learning- through each excruciating tantrum, each and every whine, in the defiant looks, and the fit pitching- that I need to act like God.

Wait. That didn't come out right. Lemme 'splain.

I do my best to treat my children like the Lord treats me. With love, gentleness, kindness, mercy, grace... conviction too. Oh yes. Nothing cuts quite so deep as that gentle scolding I get from my Father...and I feel it too, because I know He's so good. AND so right about whatever it is He convicts me about!

But His KINDNESS leads us to repentance. Not His anger. (though I want to avoid that too!) On the days I manage to not growl like a dragon and spit fire at my children, they DO seem to respond to me so much better. I can be angry...but in my anger do not sin. The bible is filled to the brim with parenting tips and case studies.

"A harsh word stirs up anger, but a gentle answer turns away wrath." I quote that SO often. That would be my next tattoo after the one on my forehead. Except that would go on my hand so I could read it.

Even so "soon" into my parenting journey, I already have regrets. Not huge ones. But like moments where I chose to yell, giving the excuse that "they make me so mad!" when, if I would have let my Father have His say, self-control would have been the wiser, more helpful option. Opportunities where I chose meanness over grace (when my heavenly Father would probably have given grace). I just pray I can learn from them and do better next time. I've got the best teacher, and He's incredibly kind and helpful even as I have days where I botch things pretty terribly.

And now that I have 3 and am realizing evermore just how BIG a deal it is that I have these precious souls in my care, I'm taking it more seriously.  It's not a new revelation to me. Each child has made this understanding more clear.

Just since #3, the desire to do better and get it right has sunk deeper down and I feel the task of parenthood more deeply and profoundly as the task is busier and the frustrating moments come more often because there are more children.  I know I've got a lot to learn and the only way to learn it well and make it happen for my kiddos is to get up tomorrow morning, learn from MY Father, and then do what He does and how He says to do it. 

I'm ready to do a bang-up job with these Rivers kids!
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So when I get it right. Or, at the very least, we all have fun together. It is beyond rewarding! Like today at McDonald's for lunch after church the boys' shared their drink so well. I was so delighted and so thankful in my heart that something good was coming from all that instructing I do everyday. And most of all I got to tell them how great they were doing and encourage them in their good behavior.

To fill up my youngins' "love tank" is such a privilege. I KNOW I am going to have to say "no" (hopefully in love. Firm. Kind. Love.) tomorrow. So today, and every Sunday, we have "Sunday Sundaes." Ice cream communicates love to 2 and 3 year olds. Really. It does. :)

If you happen to have Micheal Franti & Spearhead's song, "Say Hey" or "The Sound of Sunshine" you can play it while looking at these photos as it is usually the song playing when we get our Sunday Sundaes. And you have to point to whoever is near you at the "I love you. I love you. I love you." part. That's important.

Gasp. A child not in a carseat. I know, I know. There are no childseat laws here so for the close, slow drive to McDonald's every week, the boys get to hang out the windows.

We go most Sundays right after dinner to get McDonald's chocolate sundaes.

We got a new traffic light in our neighborhood. Isaac's preschool is the building in the middle...like if you went straight through the traffic light. You wanted a tour of our neighborhood right? Also, it's rainy season. These were taken near sunset.

...the huge empty road by our McD's. In the near future that building in the center will house a Papa John's, a Wendy's, and a Subway (and a Dominoes and Kenny Rogers Roasters...but those aren't big news) Just on the other side of that building is our Starbucks with the drive-thru. That IS big news:)

Isaac gets to pay.

...the boys share a Sundae, so Zay's is in a cup. His look is like, lady, hand it over. She geeked out after I took this (it IS odd for someone to take a picture of you while going through the drive thru. Especially if you're in Asia and they're white...er...half-white in Zayah's case)

...the entrance to our neighborhood. We go through the "Residents" gate...right past that "Happy Chinese New Year" banner. (I'm writing this at 1am because it's CNY and Disney sized fireworks are going off outside our house right now)

Sitting outside at sunset eating ice cream as a family is absolutely the best way to spend a Sunday sundown with sundaes. :) (um. anyone else see that tiny adorable face sitting on her daddy's lap!?? Lucky I had ice cream, or I'd gobble that sweetness down in a heartbeat!)

Don't let their serious faces fool you. These guys LOVE Sunday Sundaes!

Immanuelle's Nursery- AFTER!

Finally.

Whew.

The Nursery is "done" AND Immanuelle will now be sleeping in it!  We moved her today after her morning nap to her very own room. She took her afternoon nap in it and everything.

I didn't even cry.

I may tonight when I have to walk more than 10 feet in order to feed her but that's another story. At least the room will be complete.  Dark, but complete!

View from the doorway. A HUGE shout-out to our dear Kak Aygee (Kaylee as she's known to others) for helping me with nearly all of this. Polka dots on the walls, piping on the crib bumper, cutter of nearly every layer of the curtains, and the one who helped me brave the fabric store with all its 18,495 employees that would stare at us and gawk and talk about us in their language until they found out I could speak it, then REALLY wouldn't leave us alone to shop because they wanted to hear the white girl speak like them. Every time. But this is Asia. What's new?

Her window faces the atrium (the "rocks") and gets no direct sunlight. I'm excited to save on our electric bill as the master bedroom is hotter than the face of the sun and we ran the a/c nearly all day while she was napping. Her room is so nice and cool even without the a/c!

The absolute perfect place for a changing station. I throw the disposable diapers into the trashcan in the bathroom, and throw the cloth diapers into the pail beside the toilet. All without ever having to leave Baby Girl's side :)

And some close ups. One of the flowers on the bumper. Hardest part of making the bumper? The piping. Which this picture doesn't even show really. We were super proud of it though.

Immanuelle Marie Rivers. You all would be amazed at the hot(glue) mess on the back of each of those pink letters. How they turned out so nice on the front is beyond me! Immanuelle is a long name (guess that's my fault!) so it took me awhile to decide how to put her name in the room. And since IKEA doesn't make a 10-slot picture frame, fabric glued around cardboard initials was the winner!

The last piece to create (to date...there's still the matter of the quilt I plan to do). I call it the "Ragged Roses" pillow. I used the scraps leftover from the crib skirt, bumper, and curtains to make the roses. I even sewed a zipper! Oooooo! I think it turned out great!

And of course. The Pièce de résistance. Definitely the object I helped make that I am most proud of!

Christmas 2011

A Star(bucks) Shone Bright!

side note: This is "AnthonyandSharon's" 300th post! 5 whole years of blogging!

So the other day Anthony and Mr. Sivad were at Starbucks in our neighborhood (it has a drive-thru...you can be jealous, it's ok) and got invited to a Christmas party that night. I thought it was gonna be lame, but the manager said there would be orphans so that along with hopes of maybe getting some sort of free drink or prize was motivation enough to keep my kids up way past their bedtime to attend.

Turned out there were no orphans, but there were free prizes! Enjoy the pics and PLEASE watch the video...especially if you know Mr. Sivad...

When party-ers arrived, we all got put in various coffee groups. Immanuelle and I were in the "Extra Bold: French Roast" group...

...familiar Starbucks faces greeted us. This girl (tries to) flirts with Anthony and Mr. Sivad everytime they go to Starbucks. Or rather, she giggles and giggles and goes on and on about how well they speak her language. True story. First time we went through the drive-thru she was working it. Anthony and Mr. Sivad were in another car in front of myself and Mrs. Sivad and our kids... we laughed and watched as she smiled and giggled and giggled and asked them questions in their 2nd language. They can't help it really. Might as well be nice, answer her questions, and hope for a free drink or a discount. Or an invite to the annual Christmas party...

Santa was there. He liked to talk real loud into the microphone to his helper "reindeer"...

....his helper zombie reindeer that is. I was good with them though because they passed out free drinks...

...and there was a choir! We were surprised by their presence, but enjoyed them singing CHRISTmas songs...not just Holiday songs.

Then our various coffee groups had contests. One of which was decorating a reindeer of our own. Isaiah was volunteered to be the "Medium: Muan Jai"'s reindeer. Mostly because every adult there wasn't thrilled with the idea of becoming a zombie reindeer.

So cute and so far past bedtime.

Then came the run-off game and "Round 2: Funny Face Reindeer"... between "Bold: Christmas Blend," "Extra Bold: French Roast," and "Bold: Anniversary Blend." ANOTHER volunteer from each group had to get made up and Mr. Sivad, whether by being slipped something into his free frappachino or because of a strong competitive edge  got his face (and neck) painted. Or maybe it's just that he's willing to push the limits on what can be considered a "reindeer" for some free coffee products?? Is it?

See Mr. Sivad on the catwalk working the crowd. The lengths people will go to for free coffee!

Regardless, his determination and willingness paid off big time. Christmas Blend won! Anthony also won Best Dressed Male.  Look at them. Full of Christmas Spirit (or is it pride?)

And what would a party be without a picture with the token white lady and her baby in a sling?

Loft Wall

We have an area at the top of the stairs that we call the "loft." We'll be using it for an office space and for the kids to have a play area outside of their bedrooms. We have a rule in our house that toys aren't allowed downstairs, so space upstairs to play is a necessity.  I wanted to do a big batik-ish mural in Immanuelle's room, but ended up changing the "theme" of her room to, well, not-batik. (I am VERY close to posting pics of that...stay tuned!) So I wanted to paint something a little over the top. Why? I dunno. Why not?
It's taken 6 months to get to painting this wall, so though you may not be interested in seeing the progress, the fact that I've had to live with only the thoughts in my head for this space for 6 months, means that you're getting to see the whole progression. Kind of a "circle of life" kinda post. 

When we moved in. Bright orange wall. Glad my friend Danielle wasn't there when I decided to paint it another color. Her and orange are like "this" (fingers crossed tightly together)

June: Wall primed, IKEA furniture being put together.

December (see the tree?) FINALLY getting to my idea. I'm sure others may have thought of something less paramecium looking, but this was the shape I thought would look fun on the wall. Office spaces always seem very sterile and "square" and lines-ish to me, so I thought some curve in the room would help it look a bit more balanced. I used the paisleys from the boys linens in their room for reference. Isaac woke up from his nap (having no clue I had grabbed one of their shams while they were sleeping) and said, "Hey Mama! You painted that? That looks like our blanket in our room." I guess I shouldn't be surprised since he's slept on it for like a year, but I'm impressed nonetheless!

And color. Sure, the color orange was very colorful too...but my friend Kellie painted her wall turquoise and I wanted one too. I thought maybe a lighter color like hers, but a deep deep turquoise-y ocean blue just seemed right for the space. Trust me. Like I said, I spent months walking by this wall thinking about what could go on it. :)

Then the details. Yes, that's a pencil. Later that day my hubby sprang for a paintbrush set for me at a whopping RM3.90 (about $1.30!) Also, it was really difficult to make that breaker box look authentic, but I think I pulled it off.

It's way more easy to paint with tile floors. Carpet is overrated and hampers creativity. It's also no friend to potty training. ;)

Ta dah! You like? We plan to get a glass-top desk and some fun curtains and what not. When that time comes, I'll post a full-fledged "loft" post.