"If you can dodge a wrench..."

"Sports Day" at a Baptist church can mean only one of three things: softball, ultimate frisbee, or dodgeball. After brushing up on the 5 D's (dodge, duck, dip, dive and, um.... dodge) my team was ready to bring the heat. Let the violence, exclusion and degradation begin.

By this time Micah, who was on the other team and responsible for starting each game, was already halfway down the court before yelling "GO!"

That's Austin at the top puttin' a hurtin' on the other team, followed by me and Toebbe.

Are you ready for the, WWHHHOOOSH, hurricane?

I'd like to say it was an uncommon sight to see Joe, me and Austin out on the sidelines... I'd also like to say that Bigfoot is real and koalas frequently crawl into my apartment to bring me bacon cheeseburgers. A man can wish.

Team Winner (we'll forget the fact that we only won one game). Again, note where Joe, me and Austin are- only this time we're joined by a middle schooler. At least Steve-o is in on the action (he would be the only one doing something in this picture).

Here I am upping the intimidation factor, which doesn't work very well for a couple of reasons: (1) I have a blue cartoon walrus on my shirt and (2) my shorts need to be about an inch longer to meet the manliness guidelines (which do not apply to soccer or rugby players, in case you were wondering). However, I do apparently possess great chest-pass form. Fundamentals are key, kids.